Chandler had his last tournament of the season this past weekend. Short back ground of the weekend is we recruited 5 players to play for the tourny b/c we have lost so many. John thought, maybe just maybe, this would give Chandler the opportunity to play more than outfield or more than sitting the bench b/c he had been with the team longer. Well in Friday nights game chandler was benched most the game, Saturday mornings game Chandler was benched for all the game except facing the last 3 batters from his position in left field. At that John decide it was time to talk to his coach about why a kid who has never played 3rd base and just walked on the team was getting a chance to play infield and Chandler was benched.
He basically told us that Chandler will never be anything but an outfielder and quite frankly Chandler was not cut out for competitive ball and maybe we should just realize that it is not for every kid. He also said that every parent feels their kid is the best and we should just let it go. I have to say I was livid but more than that I was hurt because he has never given Chandler the opportunity to play in field other than pitching a time or two. Not even at practice has Chandler been allowed to come infield. And that kid they placed on third that had never been in that position before never caught one ball thrown at him in any of the games but they let him continue.
Coach also told us he was not concerned with developing strong players but with winning. He did not care how they won as long as they won. During this conversation he told us he would let Chandler pitch in the third game to make us happy. we told him it was a little to late to start now. Since Chandler had not even pitched since June 10, we felt that would be setting him up to fail. He had no practice or warm up since then either. Well he put Chandler in to pitch and told some of the parents and other coaches that he wanted to watch Chandler fail. Well needless to say my heart is so broken. Chandler faced only 3 batters. He walked two and let one reach on a single and then they pulled him. Chandler is a good kid and the fact that someone who is mad at John and I would take it out on a 10 year old infuriates me. This all happened Saturday. We have since found out that the assistant coach quit as well in middle of that game b/c of how Coach treated Chandler. So now 8 boys and 4 coaches have left during this season (that is not normal).
John did have the chance to confront the coach yesterday and ask him why he did that to Chandler. He actually admitted to John that he set Chandler up to embarrass him and to fail. I think he was alittle shocked John called him on it but he admitted to it and that is what I needed to hear from him. This coach is also a member of our church and has professed to be a Christian but his action show otherwise. In the conversation John had with him, John told him, he forgave him and would be praying for him and his family. He also told Coach that our God is bigger than baseball or any disagreement that comes from baseball. John told him that he hoped one day he would come to know God's love on a deeper level and that he would continue to seek God's love and grace in his life.
Our prayer through this, is that John and I handle this in a glorifying manner to Christ. We want Chandler to know that there are better ways of dealing with problems and these types of people, than to stoop to their level. But I have to be honest, I am so hurt for Chandler right now. He has been torn down all season and this just might be what breaks him. I have tried telling him it is the coaches problem and he says he can see that but I still think there is doubt of his own abilities. I have since found out that this coach never even played ball not even high school. Chandler has been in love with this game since before he could talk. He has an understanding of the game beyond a normal 10 year old (and that is not coming from me, although I think it also). We have always given Chandler the choice to play or not. He has never sat out a season nor does he want to start now. He just wants to play ball. Is that to much to ask?
Am I being one of THOSE parents??? You know the kind that thinks their kid is the best or cute as a button and you do not have the heart to tell them their kid is as ugly as can be. Am I being naive about this? Most of you have seen Chandler play baseball, what are your thoughts. Be honest, I need to know if he is the ugly kid that I think is awesome. Oh and just to let you know, I would still think he is awesome because that is what a mom does but you could still be honest.
Jenn
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3 comments:
wow, that's just crazy...sounds like a coach needs to be benched
(WWF style would feel good, for a short while :)
It sounds like ya'll handled the situation well, but I gotta say, yes, I am very hesitant to let Aaron play ball because the focus of the league is so out of whack, JUST LET THE KIDS PLAY FOR FUN!!!!!! Have a separate league for the nuts who want to teach their little kids bad time management and poor priorities by being at ball games til wee morning hours, missing church and family time, etc. They gotta learn to love the game and play for more than winning if they're going to enjoy it at all and have the drive to win as the get older. The competition of it is too intense for the younger ages, too stressing on the family in many cases, and a lot of talented kids either A) get burned out or B) the parents get burned out. It's different at Jr. & Sr. levels, but dang, play the game for fun already.
I absolutely agree. The fun has for sure been striped away this year. Chandler just wants to play ball. He does have try outs this weekend for a team his best friend plays on. They have really liked these coaches and like the style inwhich they coach the fundamentals of the game. So we will see. They only have 2 spots available on the team so it may be a long shot for Chandler to get on it. We will see.
Okay, seriously, I want to slug that coach myself. I've never even seen Chan play, but when did children's sports become so focused on WINNING at all costs? I played softball in sixth grade and my team NEVER WON ONE GAME ALL SEASON. We had fun, learned the game, and enjoyed getting the exercise.
I'm proud of you guys for the way you handled it, but I have to be honest. I'm not that big. I would have been livid and probably become one of "those" parents. (Good thing I don't have kids.)
I think there should be different leagues for different play styles. One for those ultra competitive kids and one for those who enjoy the game and want to get better with practice.
Poor Chan. This breaks my heart.
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